Mikey, 35, filmmaker and Angela, 27, writer
Despite the advent of social media and online dating, it’s hard to find someone who you can truly connect with, almost impossible to cross paths with what one would consider a perfect match.
It can get tiring for some, searching for that elusive tower of light amid a dark, scary sea of singletons.
What are the odds that you will meet that special someone? I mulled over my own chances shortly after deciding to get back into the dating scene. How many perfect or near-perfect matches can I have out of the 100 million people in the Philippines (you have even fewer choices once you take out the females, the children, and the senior citizens)?
I made rough estimates, mental computations. I felt that there was very little chance that I’d meet him at work or through my friends, who are equally stumped in the love department. I was busy as hell. And during my downtime, I preferred staying at home to read a book or listen to music.
I knew that I had to do something, I had to put myself out there. But I hated the concept of online dating. Never tried it, wasn’t willing to sell my soul to Tindr, where people judge you based on your looks alone (although I knew that I was attractive enough to score a date). I didn’t want a hookup. And I did not want to waste my time sifting through all the weird animals there masquerading as normal people.
All I wanted was a real, human connection.
And so it felt like an answered prayer when my friend told me about their speed dating event.
5-minute date
I heard about the concept a long time ago and had been meaning to join one. But I wasn’t sure if I’d meet someone interesting. Many of those who tried speed dating would advise first-timers to not expect anything. Don’t expect to meet the love of your life or to get a date at all.
Still, it seemed like a good deal. You pay for dinner and you get to go on 25 5-minute dates in one night. The rational, busy side of me was telling me to grab the opportunity. And so I did.
On Halloween, I mustered enough courage to attend Telu’s “Mystery Affair” event at Holiday Inn’s Oz Bar.
The instructions were easy enough. Talk to each guy for 5 minutes and mark which ones you don’t like and the ones you would want to see again.
Although a self-confessed introvert, I can be quite sociable. I was impressed by the mix of people who actually came. Most of the guys I talked to were decent, had good careers and were interesting enough to hold a 5-minute conversation.
I think it was midway into the event that I came face-to-face with Mikey.
After talking to several engineers, the writer in me was intrigued when Mikey introduced himself as a filmmaker and a co-owner of a specialty bookstore. He was cute and well-spoken. He seemed genuinely interested as he asked me about what I did for a living and my other interests.
In my mind, I was ticking off imaginary checkboxes. Worked in the liberal arts field, check. Passionate about his career, check. Enjoyed traveling, check. Loved stories, check. But I still wasn’t sure if we would click. He didn’t seem THAT interested in me. Plus, I was guilty of judging him, picturing him as this privileged kid who went to private school and studied in the US. I wondered if we will get along despite our different backgrounds (He was from a private school and I was from UP).
But yes, I drew a check mark beside his name and assigned number. He seemed like a genuinely nice guy.
After the “mini-dates,” the organizers handed us a pair of cards. One with the words “See you again” and another with “Why are you so charming?”
I was surprised when Mikey approached me and gave me his “See you again” card.
Roller coaster ride
Fast-forward to a couple of days later. The organizers e-mailed me with the photos and numbers of the guys I matched with.
“Hi Angela. This is Mikey from the speed dating thing. I just got the email and I guess we matched :)” was his first text to me.
After a couple of exchanges he said, “I’m glad we matched. I was having a really great time talking with you. I was worried I might not see you again.”
“Yeah. I thought we had a connection there,” I replied.
“I thought so too. Hey, would like to get together sometime this week? Maybe we could go out…minus the 48 other people,” he said.
I said yes, “but after I return from my trip to Bangkok.” For the next several days, we texted and Vibered and talked about all sorts of things — from the serious to the silly. He said his first impression of me was that I was smart but reserved. He liked that we were both passionate conversationalists.
He read my articles and I checked out his artwork online.
We laughed over the phone and sent photos of the places we went to.
By the time we had our first date (second if we count the speed dating event) we were relatively comfortable with each other.
So it wasn’t really awkward for us when the date didn’t turn out as planned. We were supposed to go on a dinner cruise but we were so late that the ship already sailed by the time we got to the port. The restaurant we ended up in featured cosplayers and musical numbers. There were so many kids that we felt like we were in a children’s party.
Mikey was so embarrassed but it worked out in the end. We were laughing the whole time, making fun of our situation. Our first photo together? It was taken by a slightly imposing mime. After dinner, we walked around the nearby theme park and talked some more.
I learned more about his work and was impressed by his attitude and vision. I told him about my passion for writing.
At the end of our walk, we dared each other to go on a roller coaster. Sure, I said, belittling what I thought was a children’s ride.
To my horror, when we got to the top, my knees started to feel weak. My hands felt clammy and my sweat felt cold. I winced as the ride jolted me out of my comfort zone. I knew that I was safe, that I won’t fall off, but I was terribly scared as the ride defied gravity.
“Scream!” Mikey told me. What? “It helps if you shout,” he explained, aware at how tight my hold was on the bars securing us.
“Here,” he said as he offered his hand. Despite my personal rule against holding hands during the first date, I took him up on his offer. He laughed as I nervously squeezed his hand. I still felt scared, the roller coaster sleekly following the curves and twists of the rail.
“Scream with me,” he said. “Ahhh!”
I shook my head. I was not willing to lose my poise in front of a guy I had just started dating.
But the ride wasn’t ending soon and I had a sinking feeling in my stomach. I gave in and shouted. I gave in to the fact that my fear of the ride was greater than my fear of making a fool of myself in front of a guy I liked.
He screamed and I followed and soon enough we were both laughing again.
By the time we got off, I still felt shaken while he had started to get a bad headache.
We sat on a park bench, him nursing a sharp pain on his nape and me trying to calm down my jelly legs. We smiled sheepishly, concerned at each other and amazed at what had just transpired.
It was an unforgettable first date.
“I don’t think we can top this,” we told each other in disbelief.
We were laughing at ourselves and I took it as a good sign. He was a real person like me. A gentleman with a good sense of humor.
Several dates later we became official.
To be honest, I tried to put it off. It’s too soon, I kept telling myself.
But I guess, it’s just like being on a scary but exhilarating ride. You just need to let go. Let go and accept the fact that you have butterflies in your stomach, that he makes your heart beat unbelievably fast. Cliche as it sounds, embrace your fear and enjoy the ride.